Sometimes the cause of an elderly person’s isolation is illness; sometimes the death of a long-time spouse; sometimes a cross-country move by well-meaning children who unwittingly remove a parent from his or her lifelong support network.
The tradeoffs in a long-distance move may not be worth the gain of living closer to a child, notes senior companion Betty Jackson. Often an adult child is unprepared to care for an aging parent and may even become overwhelmed. A much better solution, Jackson suggests, is to keep aging parents connected to friends, neighbors and acquaintances in church groups and other familiar social networks and to find other ways to assure their safety and security. It keeps Residential Aged Care Education and Training program easy. (See Sedona Verde Valley REALTORS ® Help Area Seniors Live Independently.)
If it is necessary to move an elderly individual, keeping around familiar objects is essential for the person’s comfort and well being, even if the items are not used as frequently as before. A parked car, for example, can provide a surprising amount of reassurance because it is a symbol of independence. Often children are too quick to dispose of their parent’s possessions, which can cause unnecessary distress.
Senior Companion Programs Provide Social Interaction
For those without social networks, programs such as CSI’s senior companion program, provide a bridge to the outside world. Like similar programs throughout the country, CSI’s senior companion program is one of friendly visiting with home-bound or bed-bound individuals and sometimes (if the senior is mobile) helpful assistance with errands, medical appointments and other day-to-day needs.
Visits may also include knitting, crossword puzzle solving, drawing, reading, and listening to music and the sharing of other hobbies and interests. Regardless of the activity, there is always plenty of conversation. Michele Lytle, who coordinates CSI’s senior corps programs, carefully matches the personalities and interests of her clients and companions.
Senior Companions Don’t Need Special Skills
No special skills are needed to be a senior companion; just a willingness to befriend another human being. Indeed, in her book Kitchen Table Wisdom (Riverhead Trade; 10 Anv edition), author/physician Rachel Naomi Remen says that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. CSI senior companions have found out first-hand how very healing and nurturing listening can be.
June David, a client in CSI’s senior companion program, visibly brightens as she discusses animals, pets, world events, television programs, the local news and her distant and deceased family members. A naturally outgoing person, not being able to socialize with a network of friends has been one of the greatest disappointments of making a cross-country move from Arkansas to Arizona to live with her son. The visit of her senior companion gives her someone to talk to and relieves her isolation.
Who are Senior Companions?
Senior companions are men and women who are generally 55 years old and older. They have made a decision to befriend the elderly in their community, often because they want to be of service and are touched in some way by the needs of those who are cut off from day-to-day social interaction.
Senior companions are screened, trained and sometimes modestly compensated for their efforts, with a small stipend and other reimbursements, such as mileage. Those affiliated with AmeriCorps receive an educational stipend at the end of their service.
Nonetheless most of the reward is non-tangible, and soon companions become friends. Noelle Francis has noticed that her grandfather’s disposition is considerably more cheerful on the day before and after his senior companion comes to visit.
As Remen has expressed so eloquently, “Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention, and especially if it’s given from the heart.”